Hey you! Good to see you. Come over and sit down; tell me about your week. Whoa, hang on! Before you start boring me to death with dull details of your days, it was only an empty pleasantry. Now shh and let me tell you about mine. It starts with an Android…
Actually, if I’m brutally honest, it not only starts with an Android, it also ends with an Android; and is quite Androidy in between too. But then if you didn’t like that kind of thing you wouldn’t still be here as my virtual vehicle sheds its word-load all over both lanes of your eye-road.
So let begin shall we?
THE APPS
Gnarly to the max, dude! Or something. Yes, if you fancy some winter sports but with less of the ‘winter’ and more of the warmth, come get your hands on the sickest skiing and snowboarding app this side of St. Moritz (a quick check with a 10 year old confirmed that ‘sick’ is now a good thing). We went rapidly downhill here.
Keeping the pace and the adrenaline going, if you often bemoan the lack of relentless savage violence in two-wheeled motorsport then you’re going to love this second slice of psychotic cycle action. You may also have ‘issues’. Come pick your weapon of choice.
Ever wondered what it would be like to wake up behind bars in the blood spattered basement of a hockey mask wearing serial killer? No, us neither, but on the off chance your life is lacking the kind of excitement only an attempted escape from such a savage scenario can bring, here’s the app for you. You too may also have ‘issues’…
THE NEWS
Antiques Roadshow Arrives on Android
A sedentary Sunday start to the week brought us an interactive BBC guess-along game that lets aficionados of the old play postulate the price against other armchair dwellers nearby. Running live every show, go get gestimating.
CES 2013: NVIDIA Project Shield
Hot fact burst free from Las Vegas on Tuesday as the world learned that GPU manufacturer NVIDIA had gone gamesmaster with the unveiling of its own Android porta-player…
Marrying Android and LEGO to produce THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER, the display in the desert continued to dazzle as the E3 came into brick-based being.
CES 2013: Belkin WeMo Light Switch
More illuminating innovation enlightened us mid-week as Belkin unveiled its all-new Android automated light switch. Suddenly the world seems a brighter place…
And the Android edge continued to appeared on Friday, even as the Show drew to a close, this time in the unlike shape of an open source OS powered rice cooker. Yes, you read correctly.
AND FINALLY…
That’s it, nothing more to see! Move along! Move along! Nothing more to see here! Oh, sorry, nothing except this of course!
Say hello to the Violator 8000… no, no really. This deranged looking killbot has been unearthed as the original stand-in Android mascot concept art, as designed by Andy engineer Dan Morrill. Nightmarish, eh? Fortunately, Google thought better of it and rather than running Morrill’s spiral eyed androidenous abomination turned instead to the little green Bigdroid we all know and don’t fear.
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Horrordroid is pretty sinister. And what’s he hiding behind his back? An axe?
Dat crazy Bot.
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I fear it’s some form of rusty metal ‘probe’…
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