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Hello Britishers and Johnny Foreigners alike and welcome to this: the Life of Android app-tastic Diamond Jubilee Special! You join us now for four days of national revelry as our beloved absolute monarch celebrates 60 years as our unquestioned overlord, appointed by God to reign over us, worshiped and feared in equal measure.

To mark the occasion many across the kingdom will be having street parties, Cockney types in that London will be dressing as Pearly Kings and Queens and ’avin’ a right ol’ knees ap, whilst we here at the home of the People’s Platform have chosen to show our respect by having me adopt my best/most ludicrous Jenny Bond, Royal Correspondent, voice, and walking you through a Queen’s quintet of apposite apps, regally rounded-up to help you make the most of the Jubilee weekend and put together a Bank Holiday bash that’s the very best of British.

Ladies and gentlemen, God Save the Queen! Hip Hip Hooray!

Jubilee Go Launcher EX

Prompting you to parade your patriotism in public, Jubilee Go Launcher EX is, quite simply, a way to ensure your digital device doesn’t miss out on all the dressing up that will undoubtedly occur this weekend. Comprised of seven Palace-pleasing bespoke wallpapers and 20 custom icons to cover your core features, there’s no easier of more majestic way to Ma’am-up your mobile.

Grill-It!

Helping out at a street party or hosting an al fresco audience in your garden? Then don’t stick with burning bland burgers, download Grill-It! and have an array of recipes right at your fingertips for all meat and seafood. Searchable for ideas based on the ingredients you have too, you’ll be the belle of the BBQ ball.

Diamond Treasure Hunt

Developed specifically for the Diamond Jubilee, Diamond Treasure Hunt is just that – roll out your royal knowledge, hunt down 60 virtual diamonds across the UK and Commonwealth and unlock and earn your way onto a national lottery to win the grand prize: a real sapphire ring worth £3500!

Cocktail Flow

Naturally, being a very British event, the Pimms and G&Ts will be over-flowing this weekend, but if guests at your grandiose get-together want to mix things up a little, then breakout and browse the virtual bartender, Cocktail Flow. Stunningly designed, searchable and featuring thousands of recipes and step-by-step instructions for Monarchist mixologists to placate the palates of their partygoers.

Royal Dubstep

The final piece of the party puzzle – you’ve got your food, you’ve got your drinks, now who’s handling the stately soundtrack? Oops, time to demonstrate your DJing skills and dazzle with some dynamite Royal Dubstep. Featuring 125 loops, samples and sound effects, you can change pitch and volume and, best of all, add in sound-packs of Her Maj, Philip, Charlie, Charles, Harry and William for a right royal rave.