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As it stands the musical world is on the brink of an implosion, of succumbing to an all-destructive force that will leave behind it nothing but a talent-black hole into which all things ever described in earnest as being a ‘choon’ will be sucked and ripped apart, leaving behind only a vacuum of the vacuous. The cause of this implosion is Simon Cowell – a ‘man’ whose hatred of music is so all-consuming that he has almost singlehandedly determined to destroy it, replacing true talent with the flotsam and jetsam from his travelling TV freak-shows.

If he isn’t stopped, soon what we know as ‘music, will be reduced to the one dimension of One Direction. But the war still wages and Android apps are here to help you pick a side, pick your weapon of choice and fight back. For those about to rock, we salute you…

Ultimate Guitar Tabs

You could waste time straining your ear and fingers in a bid to work out power chord progressions or every nuance of some blistering guitar solo, or you could just download Ultimate Guitar Tabs and get chopping straight away. Comprising a colossal, searchable databank of tab, offline accessibility and an easy to attempt fingering position guide, this’ll get you up and shredding quicker than Bert Weedon’s (RIP) Play in a Day…

DrumKit

Hardly the most portable of instruments, the drum kit is, however, essential to any band. So, why struggle from practice to gig and back, running the risk of a very real and costly drumroll when you can utilise Android technology? DrumKit is a multi-touch finger-drummer that features a full range of moveable and editable tub-thumpers for a real thunderous experience. Run the app through an amp and – boom! – you’re all set for that tedious 10-minute solo!

Play Bass Guitar

A bit on the basic (ahem) side it may be, but Play Bass Guitar is a handy resource for beginners to bass bashing and offers all the info you need from ‘how to hold the bass guitar’ through to lessons on playing classic riffs, reading tab and playing a major scale. A simple start that could lead to many happy years of slapping, Play Bass Guitar also has the most intriguingly novel image…

Perfect Piano

Whilst learning to play the Old Joanna using an app may seem overly ambitious to some, Perfect Piano has been rated by over 20,000, so it must be doing right. Combining full keyboard support, single and dual row modes, multi-touch pressure detection, record and playback, key width adjustment and sample song lessons, it’s an ivory tickling triumph. All you need now is a virtual candelabra app and the Liberace illusion is complete!

Harmonica Key Finder

From the down and dirty blues of Muddy Waters to the raucous rock of Green Day, the harmonica has been an integral part of popular music since long before the electric guitar even existed. The most portable and cheapest of your audio arsenal, download Harmonica Key Finder and give your lead singer something to do between lines of lyrics.